by james walsh
New information has come to light suggesting that babies may not be as young as we were led to believe. ‘I’ve always suspected something along these lines,’ stated Dr. Louis Lipman, a former baby in his own right. ‘But to have it proven in this manner is truly astounding.’ Dr. Lipman completed his statement with a whimpering ‘wah.’
To be fair, the evidence is a little scant. It’s simply based on the musings of Dr. Lipman’s wife, Louise. ‘One day, I was sitting around the dinner table and thought to myself, what if babies weren’t actually that young?’ Louise added, with an emphasis on the word ‘day’ for some reason. To which, Dr. Lipman piped up, ‘Hear, hear!’
How much older might babies actually be? Louise thinks some may be as much as several years. ‘That same night, at the dinner table, I envisioned that some babies might be as much as several years older than originally believed. I think that’s where everything really came together for me.’ At which, Dr. Lipman let out a confirmatory ‘ahem!’ followed by a smaller, more conciliatory ‘wah.’
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
James Walsh is a writer of prose, poetry and songs and dabbles in comedy. He resides in the Twin Cities, but is currently working on a collection of memoirs related to his childhood in Cleveland, Ohio. His work has appeared in The Heimat Review.
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