Tragdy struck arly this morning in Poria Illinois whn th lttr _ walkd into th offics of Th Gorko Gaztt, pointd a firarm at Had of Accounting Shirly Mastrbatrnd and dmandd sh hand ovr all th damn jwls.
Aftr placing th loot (stimatd to b worth mor than $100,000) th bandit mad a clan scap, driving away in a tan 2005 Ford xpdition which ywitnsss rportd was pilotd by th lttr O.
‘My son is no criminal,’ statd Mrs. _ from hr Wst Poria hom, chili ladl in hand and vrything. ‘If you ar looking for somon to blam for your missing vowls I say talk to Mistr Bidn.’
Th Gorko attmptd to tlphon the Prsidnt of th Unitd Stats but wr informd h was unavailabl for commnt.
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