CAT, WHAT CAT?
But we did not even know you had rescued and were obsessively caring for a six-week-old calico kitten, Brother Ethy! If so we would surely not have left the east garden door open all night. Does the cat have a name, so we can attempt to call her? It is a she, isn’t it?
NO THAT IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT A PLAINTIVE MEWLING
No Brother Ethy that is certainly NOT a plaintive mewling you hear coming from beneath Big Brother Jarrod’s tunic, for shame, you diminutive pervert! You know very well that our vows are clear that no admission of pussy shall be permitted to the monks’ cells. Brother Jarrod, please remove the cabbage for Ethernan to see.
OH DO YOU MEAN *THIS* CAT
Oh is THIS the cat you meant, this small calico that we have been keeping inside a feedbag since Matins for its own safety? Well why didn’t you say so before? We had been planning to give it to Prior Spock Bockum as a surprise on Walpurgis Night! I mean, this little son of a bitch is a first-rate mouser.
Yes, just let me get her out for you, and you shall be reunited.
Oops, there it goes out the tower window. Hope it lands on its feet! Whatever possessed that fool cat to leap from so high up?
There he goes, down the stairs, crying again, ha ha ha. When will he ever learn to stay out of the big monks’ way.
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