The Gorko Gazette

Form Rejection: A Saga in Seven Acts

Dear Writer,

Thank you for sending us your poem ‘A Poem,’ but we regret to inform you it’s not the right fit for us. But don’t be discouraged! Please send us more of your work! We look forward to reading you again.

Yours,

[REDACTED]

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Dear Writer,

Thank you for sending us your poem ‘You Must Read This, Please,’ but we regret to inform you it’s not the right fit for us. But don’t be discouraged! Please send us more of your work! We look forward to reading you again.

Yours,

[REDACTED]

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Dear Writer,

Thank you for sending us your poem ‘Form Rejection Emails Were Designed Idiots Too Stupid to Get A Real Job,’ but we regret to inform you it’s not the right fit for us. But don’t be discouraged! Please send us more of your work! We look forward to reading you again.

Yours,

[REDACTED]

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Dear Writer,

Thank you for sending us your poem ‘We Keep Publishing the Same Old Bullshit Because We Weren’t Taught Originality in Our Fucking MFA Programs and We Wouldn’t Know a Good Poem if it Jumped Up and Bit Us On the Tits,’ but we regret to inform you it’s not the right fit for us. But don’t be discouraged! Please send us more of your work! We look forward to reading you again.

Yours,

[REDACTED]

#

Dear Writer,

Thank you for sending us your poem ‘Dear Writer, Thank You for Sending Us Your Poem but We Regret to Inform You It’s Not The Right Fit for Us. But Don’t Be Discouraged! Please Send Us More of Your Work! We Look Forward to Reading You Again,’ but we regret to inform you it’s not the right fit for us. But don’t be discouraged! Please send us more of your work! We look forward to reading you again.

Yours,

[REDACTED]

#

Dear Writer,

Thank you for sending us your poem ‘There Was No Fucking Way We Were Ever Going to Approve This Poem Because We Were Too Busy Jerking Off Over some Mediocre Pile of Shit Submission from a Cunty Creative Writing Professor at some Hot Shit Ivy League University so We Can Appear Smart and Give the Impression We Understand Poetry,’ but we regret to inform you it’s not the right fit for us. But don’t be discouraged! Please send us more of your work! We look forward to reading you again.

Yours,

[REDACTED]

#

Dear Writer,

Stop.

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ABOUT THE ARTIST

Mike McHone‘s fiction has appeared in Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine, Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine, Rock and a Hard Place, Guilty, Mystery Tribune, Mystery Magazine, Dark Yonder, Tough, Shotgun Honey, the Anthony Award-nominated anthology Under the Thumb: Stories of Police Oppression edited by SA Cosby, and elsewhere. He was the recipient of the Mystery Writers of America’s Hugh Holton Award in 2020 while his short story ‘A Drive-by on Chalmers Road?’ placed on Ellery Queen’s Readers List the same year. A former journalist and freelance writer, his articles, op-eds, and humor pieces have appeared in such outlets as the Detroit News, the AV Club, Playboy, Hustler, among other publications, while his poetry has been published in Punk Noir, Gorko Gazette, and Nine Cloud Journal. He currently lives in Detroit. Visit him online at www.mikemchone.com.  

Images generated on Stable Diffusion.

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