EVERYONE KNOWS YOU HAVE TO PUT THE LIME IN THE COCONUT, BROTHER ETHERNAN

AW WITTOW ETHY CAUGHT A COLD

Aw little Ethy got a widdow sniffow? Feeling bad, Brother Ethy, well maybe you shouldn’t be out in this rain digging holes all over the goddamn monastery.

Oh you thought we told you it was urgent that the petunias be removed from beneath the library window, and replaced with the vile birthwort? That word had come down from Prior Spock Bockum that he wanted his lovely climbing hydrangea outside his cell window chopped down and replaced with corpse flower, but was not sure how to come out and say it? That he would surely give an extra portion of fish soup on Friday to the novice that did him such a wonderful favor?

Well you heard wrong, you little numbskull. Prior Spock Bockum ADORED his climbing hydrangea. Better get ready to crawl on your knees while reciting a shitload of Aves ha ha ha ha!

BUT WHAT IS THIS ABOUT PUT DA LIME IN DA COCONUT

Oh yes, probably just an old wives’ tale, but they do say, of course everyone knows, well once when Brother Alfred had a shilling, and Sister Anne had a shilling, they pooled their money and bought a lime and a coconut.

Then what did they do, you ask? Then what? Let me tell you!

Dey put da lime in da coconut and drank ’em both up. That cured their problem. The apothecary came over to see them, he brought his own lime and a coconut to administer to the pair, but it turned out they had already put the lime in the coconut and drunk it all up. So the apothecary went back to town, problem solved!

Dat’s right, little Ethy, you go put da lime in da coconut, and you drink it all up. You put the lime in the coconut, you drink ’em both together. Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better. Put the lime in the coconut, drink ’em both up. Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning.

Ha ha ha ha, there he goes, the little twit.

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