THE SOCIETY
Gorko lead investigators from the Strange Things Division (STD) claim to have identified and captured evidence of one of western civilization’s most ancient cryptids, Polite Society. Long rumored to haunt the parlors, churches, and Wednesday domino nights at VFW’s of the nation’s middle west, previous sightings were all eventually debunked as hoaxes.
‘We just stumbled upon it, right there taking the sun after church,’ the STD report reads, ‘in its Sunday best. It did not see us immediately, and we were able to creep up on it and get some very clear photographs, as well as video and, something once thought impossible, audio of what is believed to be its mating call.’ Once startled, the Polite Society scattered, driving into downtown Peoria in several different minivans.
EERIE MATING CALL RECORDED
The mating call is described as similar to a donkey’s braying, but with a loud sucking noise at the end, as of several large tentacles being separated from a glass tank. Claims the report, ‘In all likelihood the sucking sound is produced by a triple inner lip, and all that heavy blubber.’
‘What we mistook at first for human language was in fact on closer analysis simply gibberish,’ reads the report. ‘It was making the sound POTLUCK POTLUCK POTLUCK with its horrible mouths.’
STD plans to make a selection of images and video available to The Gorko at the end of the month. They wished to pass on a warning to Peoria residents not to approach Polite Society if it is encountered, but to report any sightings to Gorko HQ: phone number 555-1234.
Image generated on Magic Studio
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE…
Local Man Finally Reads Terms and Conditions by Ben Macnair
ARE YOU DEAD? TAKE OUR FREE QUIZ TO FIND OUT
IMPRESSIVE DANCE ROUTINE OVERSHADOWED BY MENTAL IMAGE OF THEM PRACTICING by Kolin Miller
New poems by M.P. Powers
WHAT ARE THEY TOUCHING IN THEIR FRONT POCKETS THIS YEAR?
Leave a Reply