An alarming new study published by the Peoria Unfluence Society (PUS) may indicate that even a very small amount of alcohol, such as the 50 mL shooter bottles of vodka found in the mini-bar of our hotel, may contain enough alcohol to make an average-sized human feel amazing.
‘The body of evidence seems to show that when you shoot even a 50 milliliter bottle of vodka, you are in real danger of feeling really good,’ read the media statement released by PUS. ‘WHOOOO-HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!’
Gorko investigative journalists will be researching the phenomenon of small shooter bottles all afternoon. Sic semper tyrannis!
Cover image generated on Magic Studio
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