The Gorko Gazette

TWENTY ATTEMPTS AT THE WILLIAMS MATTHEWS CHALLENGE TO RUIN, WITH THE LEAST POSSIBLE CHANGE, A FAMOUS LINE OF POETRY

1.
Whose woods these are I think I know.

Whose irons these are I think I know.

2.
I heard a Fly Buzz – when I died –

I heard a Fly Buzz – when it died –

3.
The proper study of mankind is Man.

The proper study of mankind is jazz, man.

4.
Let us go then, you and I

Let us go then, me and you

5.
Little Lamb, who made thee?

Little Goat, who made thee?

6.
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan

In Timbuktu did Kubla Khan

7.
When I was one and twenty

When I was twenty-one

8.
I caught a tremendous fish

I caught a whopper

9.
‘O where ha’ you been, Lord Randall, my son?’

‘O where ha’ you been, Lord Sheldon, my son?’

10.
When I heard the learn’d astronomer

When I heard the learn’d astrologer

11.
About suffering they were never wrong

About surfing they were never wrong

12.
A poem should be palpable and mute

A poem should be palpable and cute

13.
Drink to me only with thine eyes

Blink to me only with thine eyes

14.
I felt a Funeral, in my Brain

I felt a Funeral, in my Spleen

15.
There were three ravens sat on a tree

There were three mavens sat on a tree

16.
When I see birches bend to left and right

When I see bitches bend to left and right

17.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

Two toads diverged in a yellow wood

18.
O Rose, thou art sick!

O Nose, thou art sick!

19.
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall

Something there is that doesn’t love a mall

20.
Gather ye rose-buds while ye may

Gather ye nose-bugs while ye may

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