The Gorko Gazette

Daily Humor

thegorkogazette

5.29.2025 6:29 AM

peppery lobotomies by Theodore Wallbanger

peppery lobotomies

We run through syrupy sheens
of glazed happiness
getting nowhere

Chaos is swept under matted carpet so thick
it reaches past faux popcorn ceilings having
cavalier indifference to everything

Wine intake levels have peaked with
sophisticated remote access points now
stitched into the frame of our disappointed dwelling

Tepid drip lines form a network of liquid sunshine
ramming reds throughout our
work-from-home drunk tank smile factory

Bleu, named for the cheese,
gravitated to legendary status after suggestion
of a unique wine barrel storage feature
which deployed full-function force fields
of hammer slosh frolic dispensing out of our
quaint triple-wide Habitrail camper

Providing customer service assistance
or any form of technical phone support
was challenging for many lipstick cowboys but this was
a glorious snort chamber of ridiculous joy for both Bleu and me

Bleu was an out-of-work train robber when I
scooped her off polished Amtrak rails
in San Diego three winters past

We aligned as partners with our soul-grinding thirst
for quashing boredom in many arenas
with specific attempts made to outdo one another in
our under-supervised labor yard

Every six months we conjured up
elements to enhance the daily
meat grinder that puppeteered our lives
with laborious tasks bartered for survival tokens

Gracefully, I nuanced in linguistic somersaults
by adding foreign accents to the interactive chit-chat scripts
presented to panicked numbskull call-in consumers
living in the land of patchouli-dusted disasters

Bleu crippled our chances of securing
next season’s corporate contract renewal
with wine pipelines absorbing everything in their wake
but it sure feels good to let my vessel
ferment into sensory galaxies where
my final transformation into a
sugary raspberry donut cannibalizing itself is made

ABOUT THE ARTIST

Berthed from mischievous leprechauns near technicolor shadow lands surrounding Honah Lee, Theodore Wallbanger rides mysterious sparkle railcars bursting with crunchy cotton candy clouds dispatched from slippery erotic massage vixens who rage pillow laugh hourly within a splintered transportation module that screams along butterscotch wonder tracks forming vibrations for audiences across Sugar Hill Mountain.

Artwork by Wallbanger