What ho young novice, cowering behind the chapter house again? And from the smell of it having wet your tunic! You are going to miss the minstrel show headlining the internationally prize-winning troubador group Birds of Prey. They only just began their set! We can see and hear everything from the wall.
What are you muttering and wheezing from under the plants, scum of beggar loins? Ah, the smell of colitas? Merely troubador jargon for flowers.
Oh you heard otherwise? That the Birds of Prey smoked pipes? Not on Prior Spock Bockum’s watch, never you worry your blond little head. Leave the thinking to the real monks next time, please, boy.
What’s that? Mercedes-Benz? Jesus effing Christ, child, have you truly never been to the big city? A Mercedes-Benz in the context of the Birds of Prey song is a fancy German four-horse carriage with lots of chrome on its exterior.
Chrome is the glittery bits, pee-pee Ethy.
No again, it is certainly NOT devil’s music or the good Prior would never have allowed the Birds of Prey to perform so close to the monastery walls, or let all the brothers go peeping like toms through the chinks in the eastern wall.
What are you sniveling about now? Nay again, when the band sings about the Captain it is not Satan, nor our Saviour Jesus Christ, but a literal captain. A tall ship, sail far away, go discovery America captain or something.
No not Captain America, you fool of a monk. Though we know YOU hide illustrated children’s fables inside your prayerbook, thinking we are none the wiser when you begin your giggling. Pornographic fascination is a sin, little Ethy.
Say again? Oh yes, well, you DO have a point there, young boyscout in men’s robes. 1969 IS in the future, hm. Let’s call it science fiction, then, and leave it at that.
Oh here we go, this is my favourite part. Listen and stop cringing, Ethy you weasel.
See, you can check out of here any time you like, but the truth of the matter is unless you get a good rope and survive the fall and somehow evade Brother ‘Bag-o-Bricks’ Bavo and his hounds, you can never leave.
Now let’s see if they’ll start playing it backwards.
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No. 59
Cartoons by Laurie Rosenwald
No. 54
Cover image generated on Magic Studio
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