Daniel Sullivan, a twenty-three-year-old medical student, was observed by several onlookers yesterday afternoon as he attempted to go across town in his red VW, violating several traffic regulations. One eyewitness described him as ‘extremely hot and bothered’.
The regulations in question included speeding, driving while under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol, running a red light, illegal U-turn, fleeing the scene of an accident, driving without a seat belt, driving on the wrong side of the road, reckless endangerment of a pedestrian, failure to use direction signals, excessive and unnecessary use of horn, failure to yield at an intersection, and unauthorized parking in a handicapped zone.
If you happen to know of Mr. Sullivan’s whereabouts, Sheriff Joe Winkler asks that you contact him at 555-2103 at your earliest convenience.
Gorko Retread: ‘MAN WITH PANTS ON FIRE ALSO TRYING TO DRIVE A CAR’ originally published 20 July 2021.
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