The Gorko Gazette

Daily Humor

thegorkogazette

10.22.2025 7:00 AM

Gorko Serial Offender: Bob Gielow

THE CRIME

Bob writes: Remember COVID? Remember all those heart-felt messages we received from the corporate entities we thought cared very little about us lowly peons? Well, here is one of those messages that you may or may not have received from ‘The Beefcake Factory’.

Wait, were you their client at the time?

Read ‘The Beefcake Factory’ here.

Bob’s other favorite Gorko: A recent Gorko article I really liked was this one: Scientists on the verge of translating dog language.

THE CRIMINAL

A college administrator by day, Bob Gielow (he/him) spins tales in formats we all use when communicating with each other: text messages, emails, fictional Wikipedia posts, and diary entries all allow him to be clinical and thorough in describing his characters, their thinking and actions … without diminishing his ability to explore the resulting human emotions.

BLOODY MURDER

What is Gorko Serial Offenders? We invited more than thirty writers and artists who over the years and centuries have had their work featured in The Gorko at least a few times (a few times is 3) to submit a micro exposé on their own favorite piece. What is it, where did it come from, why did it appear in The Gorko, who cares? Here is a big thank you to all our contributors. The next Gorko Serial Offenders will likely be in 2026, when you too could receive an encrypted email from Raddy that begins, Dear Humanoid, We are delighted to inform you. If you were overlooked for this callout please bring it to the attention of Scrapes Henderson, the Gorko scapegoat, by writing to thegorkogazette@gmail.com with the words CHAW ME SCRAPES in the subject line, and we will review your case.