The Gorko Gazette

The Gorko set up their latest social experiment on the shores of Lake Peoria

Dying to test out the age-old adage If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day, we set up a dystopian death maze on the shores of Lake Peoria, a chutes-and-ladders obstacle course with stake pits, swinging axes, poisonous vipers, ravenous hyenas, killer robots, and yet hope: for there were weapons, tools, and 100-gram protein energy bars stashed at strategic points along the course for the contestants to find. The race for survival would be difficult, not impossible.

The point of the experiment would be not just to guarantee a massive viewing audience, but also to challenge the premise of the old saying. Would the man in fact take the fish and eat for a day, or tell us that one fish was not enough, that basically we were giving him half of a standard American breakfast in nutritional terms?

What happened

The man, Arnold G. Bumsberther of 17 Marshbottom Lane, Peoria, fell directly into our trap. Refusing the fish on the grounds that it would not be enough for himself, his wife, and children Betty and David, he was instantly immured in the Transport Cage and fitted with a Fishing Man suit and hat, and released into the labyrinth of death.

The experiment ended there, because he was impaled on a hurtling stake after foolishly tripping the switch with one of his rubber galoshes.

As the old saying goes

As the old saying should go, If you give a man a fish, he will probably say Gee thanks man and just walk away. IF HE CAN. Because if you use that fish to lure a man into a kill-or-die scenario involving his wife and children, he will play any game you ask him.

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Image by Raddy