The latest Starbucks sweet cream cordial, the Slastix®, has been given a completely different moniker by the cream of Seattle youth. ‘We call it the Slurvy,’ said Cedrice Williams, a 16-year-old skater. ‘There is no other word for it, rizz.’
The ‘Slurvies’ are definitely flying out of the espresso machines. According to the local Starbucks rep, Sue Malkory-Bob, since being launched in July 2020 Slastix® has accounted for nearly 15% of all coffee-based sales in the Seattle-Tacoma market. She commented, ‘The coffee demographic is no longer limited to adults. The kids have money, and they want sweet and minty.’
But what your grandmother would have probably called a cappuccino with a twist of hierba santa, these kids have enshrined in its own linguistic temple. ‘We eat Slurvy on the bus, we eat Slurvy at the skate park, we eat Slurvy on the ferry,’ squealed one of Cedrice’s diminutive friends.
Would you eat ‘Slurvy’ on a boat? Would you eat ‘Slurvy’ with a goat? Here’s to betting you would.
Gorko Retread: ‘FOR MANY, NO WORD FOR IT BUT SLURVY’ originally published 12 May 2021
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No. 52
Safari by Bill Tope
Photo by Eiliv-Sonas Aceron on Unsplash
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