TENNIS AND THE SLENDER MAN
When I was first invited to the Great Midwestern Tennis Tournament and Slenderman Sighting event by Rocky Fisker I was understandably a little confused, and a lot skeptical. I did not believe in the existence of Slenderman, the creepypasta neo-cryptid invented in 2009 by an internet geek named Eric Knutson, or see how this fictional character could in way be related to tennis. After three days at the tournament, in what would become a life-altering experience, I came to see how important the juxtaposition of this cryptic, thin humanoid and tennis really is for one small midwestern hamlet.
THE GREAT MIDWESTERN TENNIS TOURNAMENT AND SLENDERMAN SIGHTING
The Great Midwestern Tennis Tournament has been a Peoria-area event since 1932. It is a bracketed competition that pits regional high school and collegiate talent against college and amateur tennis players from across the country and world. People pack into the city from all across America, Europe, and Asia, families and fans all hoping to see stiff competition from their favorite challengers, and possibly — just possibly — catch a glimpse of Slenderman.
Rocky had booked us a room across from the main center, Racquet Club South, at the Sequoia Inn where, according to tradition, on the third night of the tournament Slenderman would appear to a chosen guest and reveal the winner of that year’s tournament. The first Slenderman sighting was reported at the Great Midwestern Tennis Tournament in 2015 by a father of that year’s winner, Emery Nielson. At about 9 pm on the night in question, Mr. Nielson stumbled from his room in the Sequoia, crying for help. He was wobbly on his feet and nauseous and was bleeding from one nostril. He claimed that a creepily tall, thin humanoid creature had appeared to him as he sat in the dark watching television, and had told him that his son Emery would win that year’s contest. The following day, after gliding through the semis, Emery defeated the Chinese southpaw Stradler Dixon in a fierce 7-5 final.
BUT WHY PEORIA, SLENDERMAN
There is some disagreement about the importance of the tournament to Slenderman. Sequoia Inn desk clerk and comic book aficionado Len Haggarty explained that the main theory is that Slenderman was in fact in a former life a lanky tennis player who ‘took a shellacking’ in one of the past tournaments, and has returned from the beyond to help the local side.
‘I think the cryptid we now know as Slenderman was probably Ronnie Morris, who played for Cedarville High in the 1990s,’ Haggarty told this reporter. ‘He was unusually tall and thin, nearly 7 feet, and extremely introverted. He didn’t even have a girlfriend.’
Ronnie Morris’s car was found at the bottom of Green Lake following the 1999 tournament, in which Ronnie was eliminated from contention by the Austrian Hans Abentung in a grueling, heartbreaking final. Says Haggarty, ‘Ronnie was crushed, and left without saying a word to anyone, even his family. The following day they found his car at the bottom of the lake, but Ronnie’s body was never recovered.’
Since the Slenderman sightings began, the local players have gone undefeated in both men’s and women’s fields, with the one exception being Karly Bivins in 2020.
‘Oh yes, Bivins,’ mused Haggarty, ‘well she was playing with COVID, as it turned out, and the sighting that year was rumored to have been a hoax. Apparently Slenderman appeared to two people here in the hotel, but neither of their predictions turned out to be correct.’
He said, ‘But there was a third person who may have seen the Slenderman that night. She was in Room 237 and suffered a stroke around 9 pm and never regained consciousness. She had blood dripping from both nostrils, which is one of the signs, of course.’
WELL WHAT HAPPENED THIS YEAR
Rocky Fisker and I did not after all partake in this year’s Slenderman sighting, fortunately or unfortunately as the case may be, although we did watch a lot of very good tennis. Slenderman appeared to a woman named Nebraska at 9 pm sharp on the southwest-facing second storey landing of the Sequoia and predicted a victory for the Tiffin squad in both men’s and women’s categories, which is exactly what happened the following afternoon.
Rocky and I will be going back next year in the hopes of sighting the Slenderman. Where once there was fear and uncertainty in the great Midwest, there is now hope and a confidence that we are gonna kick them dirty ferner’s behinds.
This is Raddy, signing off!
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Images: Tennis-spielendes-Mädchen.jpg; Slenderman monochromatic man in suit with tendrils by Vishchun.png
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