The Gorko Gazette

Daily Humor

thegorkogazette

3.12.2026 6:24 AM

UNCLE TOBY JUST GOT A TEXT MESSAGE FROM BARBARA AT HIS OFFICE

Word on the street is Uncle Toby just received that long-awaited text message reply from Barbara, a woman at the office he has a big-time crush on.

‘God look at him,’ local child Nadira told Gorko reporters from the back of her father’s bicycle. ‘He is acting like he already scored.’

If propositioning coworkers by text message were indeed baseball, Uncle Toby would probably have just popped out to short, agreed Nadira’s father.

‘Uncle Toby has always been pervy, so this is just par for the course.’ The local dad explained that if trying to pick up coworkers is golf, Uncle Toby just swung over the ball on the tee, missing it completely, but the little gust from his swing knocked the ball off the tee, costing him a stroke.

Toby would now have to pick the ball up and replace it on the tee, costing him another stroke.

‘He is in a huge hole before he even hits the fairway,’ scoffed Nadira, shaking her little helmet.