Nearly everyone knows the old saying, that it is just as easy to cook for four as for one. The prep time and effort spent actively cooking is practically the same, and so many people save both time and energy by always cooking for four, and either sharing the fruit of their labors with family or neighbors, or sliding a nice portion into the fridge to enjoy as leftovers.
Well not Gorko Chef Rambo Bolillo, who although he lives for free on the couch in the Gorko HQ basement here in Peoria, always cooks for just one person: himself.
‘Although technically he may be two persons,’ quipped Gorko Cub Reporter Nadira. ‘When he went to Italy he had to pay for two seats.’
Rambo is extremely territorial about what goes on in the kitchen, niggardly with his portions when forced to share (technically he cooks for the Gorko staff three nights a week), bullish about people using ‘his’ knives, and belligerent when defending fridge space.
‘Then there is The Rambo Zone in the fridge, clearly marked out with masking tape. It is the entire right side of the fridge, in fact,’ confirmed housemate Lemon Reilly, also an ex-convict. ‘He hasn’t changed. When we were in IDOC together he wouldn’t even let me cross this imaginary line he had said divided The Rambo Zone from Lemon’s Corner.’
This is the sad state of affairs at Gorko HQ, ladies and gentlemen. Lemon, Raddy, and the rest of us will continue cooking for four or even six, and hopefully in the future the selfishly bloated egocentric chef in residence will take his cue, and begin thinking of others, too.
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Image: Guillermo Kahlo – Self-portrait – Google Art Project.jpg
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