The Gorko Gazette

Daily Humor

thegorkogazette

7.8.2026 6:53 AM

(not so) happy hr. and breasts by Ken Kakareka

(not so) happy hr.

my wife
always hates
when
i let
our dog
drink from
a cup
at a
restaurant.
but
she wasn’t
there
so fuck it.
i let
audrey
drink water
from
my cup
at happy hr.
when i was
2 tequila
old fashions
deep
and
the maddened
sun’s blaze
began
to fade
behind buildings.
the only
problem was
that i
was devouring
chips
and salsa
at a
rapid pace
which came
back
to haunt me
as
it always
does.
the salsa
was
too spicy
so i had
to gulp
from
the cup
that audrey
drank from
but
the kicker
was
that she
licked poo
only
an hr. ago.

breasts

your poem
is now
live!
read an
email.
no offense,
bub.
but it’s
kinda hard
to get
a hard-on
abt.
that sort
of thing
now.
everything
is live.
i’ve had
tons
of poems
published
across
the web
and not
one
of them
has made
me millions.
but i’ll
keep fiddlin’
w/ the poem
i suppose
b/c it’s
better than
fiddlin’ w/
your mother’s
breasts.
the editor
neither replied
nor
published me
ever again.

ABOUT THE ARTIST

Ken Kakareka is an American writer of works of fiction and nonfiction, such as BULLSHIT (Anxiety Press, 2024) and Summer of Irresponsibility (Alien Buddha Press, 2023). He is a Best of the Net nominee (2025). His work has appeared or is on its way in numerous rags including Gargoyle Magazine, A Thin Slice of Anxiety, The Disappointed Housewife and New Pop Lit. A list of selected publications can be found at kenkakareka.com.