The Gorko Gazette

Daily Humor

thegorkogazette

8.13.2026 6:33 AM

Tuesday afternoon in the Super-market and Darts Night by Ben Macnair

Tuesday afternoon in the Super-market

‘Colin, they have your special lotion,
the one for your intimate area,
two for one, shall I get you two?’
She asks, her voice a siren call for the curious.
Like a teenage boy, he stammers, a quiet yes, and quickly turns red.
He sees the Vicar, shopping for her daily bread.
She smiles, and says she has heard it all.
What Lisa said about Nigel was enough to make her rethink her vocation.
Today’s not the day for any rash decisions.

Greg stares at yet another customer,
who thinks 14 is less than 10 in the express checkout.
He is only young, but thousands in debt.
His master’s degree in Advanced Rocket Science
won’t pay for itself.

Billy is in for his Angler’s weekly.
It is the only shop that sells it,
and at 87 years old, he feels a subscription
could be a risk too far.
He lives miles from a river,
even further from the sea,
but it gives him something to talk about when his son visits.

The local Lothario is in again,
his comb-over even more extreme,
he is every women’s nightmare,
thinking he is everybody’s dream.

It is five o’clock, soon be time to go home,
restock the shelves, re-price the wine,
sort out the newspapers, even more out of date,
move the magazines, so the less well read ones are at the back.

That new book club is in again, buying the latest recommendation.
They will spend more on the wine, than they do on the books.
We buy them in bulk, and sell them cheap.
The shifts will finish, there is a spillage in aisle four.
Two middle aged blokes complain about the music.
All human life is here.

Darts Night

Maureen and Doris are in again,
sipping Gin and Tonic, waiting for Bridge.
Dave is by the darts, creating small holes,
and he hasn’t even begun drinking yet.
He runs his hands through his hair,
he should own shares in Brylcreem,
waiting for the girl
who always narrows her eyes.
The land-lord shakes his head,
Bucks Fizz are playing on the Jukebox.
Maureen and Doris lose again at Bridge,
to no-one’s great surprise.