The Gorko Gazette

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thegorkogazette

5.25.2026 6:58 AM

Indecisive by Simon Collinson

Indecisive

Choices, choices. I had to choose one, lucky me.

The problem is I just couldn’t make up my mind, I’ve never been good at making my mind up, trouble is I’ve always had a problem with my temper too.and that’s what got me here.

The judge has sentenced me to death, but they’ve given me a choice of how my execution is carried out.

I can either be shot or hanged.

But blow me i still haven’t chosen yet. I can’t make up my mind. Hanging and shooting each have their advantages in executing someone. It’s so hard to choose.

The crowds were not happy. They’re shouting out things like, ‘Get on with it, hurry up and pick a method,’ or ‘Get a move on, Some people have no consideration for others, there’s a great episode of Animal Rescue on later.’

I still couldn’t make up my mind so in the end I said, ‘Bugger it, I’ll have both!’

The crowd went berserk! And then cheered to the rafters as I was led to the scaffold with a firing squad lined up. They did a dramatic countdown 10-9-8… I even joined in. After all, you only die once!

I didn’t see much as I was blindfolded, a fancy one in silk cos the area was terribly posh.

The stool was kicked away and I dropped with a quick bang bang,

That was it.

Apparently it was a wonderful execution, the best one they’ve ever seen, and the real crowd was pleased. It got 2.5 million likes on X. I think I’ve started a new trend.

And now I’m standing outside the big gates with a big man who is asking me which one of the 10,000 religions I believe in.

Which puts me in a pickle, as I can’t make up my mind. These each sounded plausible to me. So Gabriel told the big man, ‘Oh just put him down as C of E or else we’ll be stuck here for eternity.’

About the artist

Simon is a ND writer from England. He is a member of the All Seasons writing group. He will be publishing a collection of contemporary Gothic poetry later this year. He seeks stillness and solitude.