It is the old dilemma: you’ve got balls, they feel nice to touch, but you are just not sure when it is safe to touch them.
This is the definitive Gorko guide to safely touching your balls.
IN YOUR OWN SPACE
Feel free to touch your balls in your own space: apartment, house, vehicle, or lane in the grocery store. No one can keep you from touching your balls in your own space!
IN THE BALL PIT
This is why they made the ball pit: to touch balls in.
ON TV, BOTTOM OF THE THIRD INNING
If you are a professional baseball player circumstances often dictate that you touch balls. On the other hand, if you play right field, you might NEVER get an opportunity to touch balls. You might spend the whole season out there just scratching your ass.
IN BALL-ITCHERS CLUB
Many communities have actual ball-touching clubs, usually known as Ball-Itchers Societies, where people can touch balls in a totally anonymous, non-judgmental environment. Check out your local yellow pages for listings.
BASKETBALL CAMP
Many, many young people go to basketball camp over the summer. This is a place where it is totally fine to touch balls.
Wherever you end up touching balls this week, remember to touch them responsibly.
Gorko Retread: Originally published 18 December 2021
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Photo by Ethan Haddox on Unsplash
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