In a desperate move to salvage his waning semi-pro soccer career, after languishing for a year in the dreadful Belgian Vagabundasliga Former Champions League, goalkeeper Nijs Hermannus has sold his eternal soul to the devil in exchange for the incredible ability of unaided flight, with which he hopes to recover his former goalkeeping prowess and launch his team, FC Tweeny, into the VFFC Cup with a shot at the somewhat prestigious Former Champions Cup to follow.
Nijs’ team suffered a true beatdown in the game that followed the satanic pact, however, losing 8-2 and being summarily eliminated from playoff contention.
‘He still hasn’t quite mastered the flying part,’ physical trainer Jakob Brenner told media and fans following the disappointing match. ‘We are working closely with Nijs to incorporate his new skill, but so far to be completely honest it has done more harm than good.’
Nijs is slated to enter the underworld for eternal servitude sometime before 2030.
Photo by Lars Bo Nielsen on Unsplash.