The Lemondrop Dream Blog: When Life’s A Lemon

Hello friends. My name is Lemon Reilly (@LemonReilly), Life Doctor, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Homeopath with offices in both Reno and Mexico City.


I love sports but when my teams lose I lose, Lemon. I become sullen, drink more than I should, and throw objects at my wife and children. The people who matter most in my life refuse to be around me. Yet the true meaning of games (especially American football games) should be discipline, hard work, and respect for others. Is my reaction to losing normal?
-Golden in California

Do you cheer for the San Francisco 49ers, Golden? Turn off your TV today, and pick up my book: A Sports Lover’s Self-Healing Guide to Raw Jock Energy (with photos). Your choice is simple: start cheering for the Patriots today, or go into the mountains with a small bowl of cooked rice and prepare to stay there until the Earth Mother speaks to you.


The Koran tells us that if the flesh of a donkey is unsavory, how much more so will be the flesh of a road-kill serpent. Is this normal?
-Walking the Line in Tehran

I am not an expert in the Koran or Jewish Old Testament, Walking, but I imagine that the holy writer (Moses or Allah, if I am not mistaken) is employing metaphorical language. The donkey is not a donkey any more than the road-kill serpent is a snake. Burro be as burro is, my Mexican compadre Paco ‘Milagro’ Sanchez Hernandez always used to say, and that is just Mexican lingo for you can lead a donkey to water.


My Life Partner Dale recently confided in me that he has wet dreams (these are erotic dreams that end in sexual climax) while sleeping in the same bed with me. I am confused and hurt because he hasn’t even touched me in weeks. Is this normal?
-Ralph in Idaho

Your question surprised me, as I had never heard of these so-called ‘wet dreams’ until you mentioned them. After a little research, it turns out that there may be some connection between Dale’s lack of interest in you and your personal odor. Some people find that showering every morning helps arouse their partners. Investing in a good essential oil like Lemondrop Tea Tree Sexplosion ($18.99) to sprinkle and/or daub might also help make you attractive to another man, but I personally have only used it to turn on women.