Local sources have confirmed that the neighbors’ new dog Petey, a black shorthair, refuses to fetch balls or sticks and basically just stands there and blinks.
‘There is definitely somethin wrong with that dog,’ muttered West Peoria native Charles Buck from the cab of his pickup. ‘Thoroughbred by the looks of im but good fer absolutely nothing.’
Petey sports dark skin, a pot belly, round ears, two horns, large nostrils, a short tail, and beady little eyes. He looks to weigh about 3 thousand pounds.