In a freak accident earlier today the Peoria Ghouls Inc. located on the outskirts of West Peoria (follow the black smokestacks) suffered a system malfunction during a routine shopper zombie printing operation and began spitting out thousands of redneck zombies, who quickly filled several adjacent trailer parks with the sounds of television talk shows, the crack of lite beer cans, and personal rubbish.
‘The fallout is completely under control,’ commented a PGI spokesperson. ‘We were fortunate that the ghouls filtered directly into neighborhoods that simulate their own natural habitat. We expect cleanup to be complete in less than 12 hours.’
Other citizens of this great state, however, have complained to police and reporters about the redneck zombies in their houses and streets.
‘This zombie fella comes lurching through the front door, don’t say hi nor nothin, just goes straight to the fridge and helps himself to one of my beers, then plops himself down in my favorite chair!’ reported a distraught Wiley Grunterson as he paid us for pizza the redneck zombie (Bert) had ordered using the Grunterson’s landline.
‘Not much differnt from yer cousin Zed,’ remarked Mrs. Grunterson from the interior of the trailer with a laugh and a half belch.
Photo by Yohann LIBOT on Unsplash