Insisting as usual on communicating via private messenger, Count Drakgorth has finally made up his mind about your current living arrangements: he will be deeding you his castle in Drakgorth Forest in darkest Romania in exchange for your modern three bedroom split level in West Peoria.
‘The stewards shall arrive in early March to begin the takeover of the Peoria castle,’ declared the messenger, flanked by two trumpeters in green tights. ‘Lady Drakgorth plans to leave several prisoners languishing in the Drakgorth dungeons for your amusement. Please remember to water the petunias.’
Before this morning you had no idea you would be exchanging places with Count Drakgorth, but when he makes up his mind about something, he really makes it up.
Drakgorth Castle has no electricity, modern plumbing, or cellular service. It is located in darkest Romania.