Author: thegorkogazette
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Odysseus stabs the eye of the cyclops and 1 more by Sarp Sozdinler
I held my breath during sirens to mute my blood The sink kept coughing up rust
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Crud Magazine Website by Bill Tope
Take your time and get to know the real Crud and, if you feel inspired, please read the following submission guidelines.
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The Blaze of Yesterday and 1 more by Donna Dallas
Orange haired leprechaun and his broomstick in the doorway of 12
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ARE YOU A NATURAL VICTORIAN GENTLEMAN?
Do you frequently step around ragamuffins in the street, cursing them in Victorian English?
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Ipswich to Pride’s Crossing and 2 more by Michael Igoe
It will take a lot more than you think, / if you’re planning on a crash landing
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GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO’S VEGAN RECIPE FOR WHISKEY ON THE ROCKS
Most of Rambo’s favorite things to eat and drink are absolutely within bounds.
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THE CLASS & HAPPY HOUR by J.R. Solonche
Now is the hour of the great softening when the sharp edges of the workday begin to blur.
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a nature poem in the style of my turkish esl girlfriend & dad’s antarctic mission by Aaron Barry
I started wearing faux leather pants but chafing restricted my movements and people took to gawking
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A Training Guide by Iryna Somkina
You aren’t training for a beach in July. You are training for the bar fight you can’t avoid.
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The new logo for Teddy Wallbanger and Team and 4 additional chalks by Theodore Wallbanger
Abe Kadabra paid no attention to trivial matters because he ran on fire energy.
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A Brief History of Transportation by Patrick Carella
We are approaching millennium. Observe the evolution of the human in the command pod—darker, more muscular—almost equine.
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What is your urgency statement? by Bruce Reisner
The man’s urgency was pure garbage. All our urgencies were a fabrication. Sad.
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A BOWL OF WORMS NEVER LOOKED SO MUCH LIKE SPAGHETTI BY LITTLE DAVID GREENER
‘This particular bowl of nightcrawlers probably looked more like spaghetti than any of my previous bowls of worms.’
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The Theme of the Week is Sports Chafing
Elizabeth Barret Browning was famous for her hot zumba rashes, of which she complains in Sonnets to the Portuguese XIX.
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Magazine Editor’s Handbook: Lesson One by Bill Tope
Thank you for the submission of _________ to _________ journal.
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2 new poems by Salvatore Difalco
I started wearing faux leather pants but chafing restricted my movements and people took to gawking
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Culling of the Centaurs by James Callan
smith and scrivener bowman and bride getting on like a house on fire
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The Third Obituary of Hiram C. Young by Marsden Lyonwahl
It is with sadness, respect, and some chagrin that this paper announces the passing of famed cowboy, Hiram C. Young.
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The Laughingstock of the Death-Collectors’ Convention by Christie Chapman
The non-blade end of my scythe, which, yes, is BeDazzled™ and covered in Lisa Frank stickers.
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THE 2026 FIFA WORLD CUP: WHERE IT IS BEING PLAYED, HOW TO AVOID IT
At what cost to the local infrastructure will North America welcome back the sport that you play with your feet?
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The Best Dollar He’d Ever Spent by Pablo Libedinsky
Pablo sat in the almost empty train and put his feet up on the opposite seat.
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Note on a Napkin, to a Napkin by Peter Mladinic
Jacobson moves from scene to scene with the ease of a seasoned storyteller.
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Mom said I had to invite the whole class to my slumber party, which includes the girl who always pretends she’s Werner Herzog, who didn’t break character all night by Casey Garfield
I dared her to make the prank call and she said ‘We are doing a survey. Is your refrigerator running?’
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The Incredible Throbbing Shamrock by Theodore Wallbanger
Addicts, beer-battered shoe/car/dental salesmen rampaged with Schleprocks, and a tickle fest of lumberjacks hyper-fixated with the teeny, tiniest wisp of sex which was brewed nightly at T.I.T.S.
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GORKO CHEF RAMBO BOLILLO ASKED US FOR YOUR NUMBER — AND GOT IT
Gorko Chef Rambo Bolillo, dressed in his best turtleneck and sports jacket, got your number off our phone while we were in the bathroom.
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National Weed Day is a Government Conspiracy by Z. T. Fairfax
Big Soap made it out on top Easier to swallow Dawn than the irony
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CLASSIC GORKO: Serious And Devoted Contemplation Of Modern Roads And Roadkill
Gorko lore, from our archives to your breakfast table.
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Playing with the latest Instagram feature by R.J. Schmitz
The wild turkeys were out in the highway this morning
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Run Weird Like Ducks on Dry Land by Nicholas Viglietti
I was barren, stopped carin’ and my tomorrows weren’t promised.
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SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER (S.A.D.) by Ron Arbuckle
The wild turkeys were out in the highway this morning
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Satisfaction Delivered by Iryna Somkina
The cashier wasn’t a tattooed girl with father issues. She was fifty-something. A plump, tired auntie.
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CLASSIC GORKO: MORE FROM THE AMMNER WHITCKET NEWSPAGE
Gorko lore, from our archives to your breakfast table.
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MITCHELL KENNEDY’S TOP 5 MOVIES CALLED OPOSSUM
He rolls up into a ball and plays dead and they go away.
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MARS ROVER SPIES SHIMMERING NYMPHS, THUNDER DEITY BETWEEN CLOUDS OF COTTON CANDY AND LOLLIPOP ELVES
The presence of the nymphs apparently had been concealed by the clouds of pink-orange cotton candy clouds common everywhere on the surface of the pink-orange planet.
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God’s Got a Good Backstroke by Nicholas Viglietti
I was barren, stopped carin’ and my tomorrows weren’t promised.
