Author: thegorkogazette
-
Gold Fish and 2 more by Kushal Poddar
We move the bucket around and give up, sit on a sofa with our legs tucked.
-
2 by Alex Carrigan
but instead I set the flower on fire because I’m not / trying to write a sappy poem
-
A Moment’s Hesitation by Michael Drezin
They call it ‘trying,’ but what a client cares about is winning.
-
Thirteen Ways of Looking at Anya Taylor-Joy by Damon Hubbs
I was fond of playing telephone With noble accents
-
Three poems by Iryna Somkina, translated by Stephan Crown-Weber
With my right hand propping up my chin.
-
CANDY BARS WITH RAZOR BLADES INSIDE RANKED BY JOHNSON STREET ADDRESS
The Van Burens only give kids generic candy like Smikkers and Kit-Kax.
-
Toaster of the Month Club by Jon Wesick
Each month, the Toaster of the Month Club will deliver an assortment of boutique toasters directly to your door.
-
WE ASKED 4 LOCAL K-12 TEACHERS FOR THE BASIC INGREDIENTS OF MEXICAN CHICKEN LIME SOUP. HERE ARE THEIR ANSWERS
‘I guess it has tortillas and water and some tequila in it, I mean it is Mexican.’
-
I met yr god and 1 more by John Yohe
I met yr god one time in the desert near Globe I said what are you doing out
-
Godspeed, Kenny Chesney by Torrey Kurtzner
Upon his Second Coming, he had successfully carved a new identity for himself while blending in with the surf culture of Southern California.
-
I went to the state of limerence and all I got was this lousy shirt by Andrea Salvador
Cue the midnight banter where you ooze buckets of #coolgirl aura & NO NEVER MIND HE’S STOPPED REPLYING
-
PHOR!!! 10 GORKO-APPROVED APHORISMS FOR THE AGES
14. Marilyn Monroe in Some Like It Hot is worth a thousand words
-
The People vs Ricky Bernstein’s Playboy by Patrick Carella
The judge adjusted his seat on the cardboard box filled with ancient sports magazines.
-
THE GORKO’S 2027 BEST OF THE NET NOMINATIONS!
The Gorko’s 2027 BotN nominations are here! Read all eight pieces here.
-
3 GROWN MEN YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO WOULD HAPPILY PLAY TEVYE IN A HIGH SCHOOL THEATRICAL ADAPTATION OF ‘FIDDLER ON THE ROOF’ IF IT MEANT THE DALLAS COWBOYS COULD WIN THE SUPER BOWL
Disturbing if true, a new survey by the Gorko True Facks Committee has brought to light new evidence.
-
A Compendium of Gemstones by James Callan
Kyanite is a corpse hidden in the center of a snowbank in the parking lot at Lowe’s.
-
The Melancholy Man of Leisure by Hugh Blanton
This is part of Shteyngart’s shtick—the bullied, picked upon, oppressed, poor little guy that just can’t catch a break.
-
YOU DON’T NECESSARILY NEED CHAMPAGNE TO TOAST THE CONQUEST OF A MINOR EUROPEAN NATION
If the nation is a fairly large one, however, champagne may indeed be expected.
-
An open letter to God by Zoë Davis
The All-You-Can-Eat Supper Club Hosted by Nelson Mandela has been a personal highlight.
-
Fear Cringed Eyes by Nicholas Viglietti
Brutal sting, you barter with God. Decisions made, and we were to blame.
-
Dangerous Dave by Simon Collinson
I used to love doing tricks. Go down them head first, run up the slide.
-
Mitch’s Movie Mash: Despite Gruesome Hygiene ‘The Batboy’ Has Bonified Man Wings
I hate it when she finds out about upcoming theatrical releases before I do, but it makes sense.
-
THIS COURAGEOUS MAN WENT BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL AT THE AGE OF 56 AND WAS BULLIED LIKE IT WAS 1984
Unfortunately for Lenny, times have not changed all that much in forty years.
-
Dreadlocks by Arthur Neong
And he has all the world to himself. The richest poorest man in the world.
-
YOU KNOW I LIKE MY GIRLS A LITTLE BIT OLDER
I just wanna use your love tonight. No, I don’t wanna lose your love tonight.
-
Fish in love by Mykyta Ryzhykh
Spruce trees cast their proud shadows on four-legged tracks in the snow
-
Found Poetry: ‘Poet Interruptus’ by Uncle Toby
Callow to the utmost, maturely she sips her morning brew / With unknowingly meager nonplussed virgin charm
-
You Can Take Away These Five Monuments to Deer Point’s Greatness When You Can Pry Them From Our Cold Dead Hands by Nathan Ellis
Known as The Shoveler, Deer Point librarian and bird watching enthusiast Leah Plimpton terrorized Deer Point from 1984 to 1993.
-
It Was Called ‘SmokeNet’ by Mohammad Asgari
Scientists Discover Native Americans Had Social Media Thousands of Years Before Facebook — It Was Called ‘SmokeNet’
-
Faux Chairs by Ken Long
We watched them for a few minutes to see if they would leave, but they just sat there talking.
