That big overseas trip is looming and like so many other adults your biggest source of anxiety is not your acute fear of flying, stress of endless security checkpoints, complete lack of skill with foreign languages, or the deadlines set for you by three tiers of supervisors.
No, it is shitting yourself in a public, enclosed space AND HAVING NOWHERE TO HIDE FOR THE NEXT 14 HOURS.
Well you can kiss your poopy pants backward-parcopresis anxiety goodbye, because The Gorko tested more than 25 brands of adult diaper on long commercial flights and today will be recommending the top 3 choices for our readers. No one should be afraid to poop in public. We guarantee you will never suffer from shy bowels again.
NUMBER 3: SWIZZLERS DRY PAC, BEST OVERALL CONTAINMENT
There is a reason Swizzlers Dry Pacs are so popular with younger travelers: they are so snug to the hip and butt that they are the best option for the discreet pooper. They also boast best overall containment, with fewer than 1 in 20 fliers experiencing liquid or olfactory leakage.
NUMBER 2: TEDDYBEAR TRUMP DISPOSABLES, BEST HYPOALLERGENIC OPTION
The brand spanking new line from Teddybear Trump Diapers Ltd. are easy to get on and off while wearing pants and the soft, hypoallergenic material is guaranteed to reduce diaper rash and sneezing by 40-60%. For a limited time only, buy 50 and get a free toupee.
NUMBER 1: BODY GLUV ULTRA LEAKFREAK, BEST OVERALL OPTION
This adult diaper requires the adult traveler to plan ahead if wearing anything but tearaway training pants, since they feature the latest in zip-up technology and are ideally closed pre-boarding and kept closed for the duration of your overseas flight, but they are definitely the adult pooper’s best overall option. Great containment (although slight ankle leakage was reported by one very young adult, now banned from intercontinental flights on Delta), second-to-none aroma control, including state-of-the-art redolence neutralization packets, and for your money the most comfortable way to lounge away the turbulence while sitting in your own shit.