Commentary by Tark Mackintosh
Her Crown of Glory A poem entirely about this one chick’s hair. Who was Arthur J. Burdick but at heart a man? And everyone knows that men who published poetry between June 1887 and November 1888 in The Coronado Mercury were obsessed with just one thing: the blonde crown of glory.
coyly at the ball Well why did you take her to a sporting event, you dumbass? Should have taken the crown of glory to a dance hall.
a little distant The date goes from bad to worse. First baseball, now the horses. The object of Art’s affection grows weary with his puerile attempts to impress with activities from a world of stags.
to be mine The woman is not only an object of affection, she is also an object to be won and possessed. Very old-fashioned, Mr. Burdick! Bad form, and worse poetry.
’twas all put on Rhymes with almost gone. The meter is impeccable — the sentiment trite.
queen…cheek The single cheek implies that the lover only ever saw his queen in profile, likely as he was chugging cheap beer and munching crackerjacks in the stands.
sylph-like Not syphilitic, but sylvan + nymph, a dryad or supernatural creature of the forest deep.
angel smile With pouty mouth, upturned at the corners.
golden hair / …hair The image is of royalty: the queen with her crown of glory, in other words an imperious partner with a blinding hairdo, truly frightening.
sllmmered The poet, desperate to use some fancy diction despite having the vocabulary of a first grader, gives up and just starts making up words. OR this is a typo and the original, roughly scribbled line was That slithered in the sun.
married That happened quick. One wonders if there were drugs involved, or just emotional coercion.
too…all put on Arthur is disappointed in the end by his slyph-like conquest. A sophomoric and unsatisfying final line concludes the sophomoric and unsatisfying poem.