A Peoria ex, gender unspecified by local reports despite its lumbering size, was quickly dubbed ‘Tyrannosaurus Ex’ after eating the children and smiting the three-bedroom ranch house where it formerly lived with its spouse. The fiercesome Tyrannosaurus Ex then made its way across the southern part of the city, sowing destruction, death, and wild panic as it recklessly smashed vehicles and gobbled up the elderly, before disappearing into Lake Peoria, a monster silhouetted by police strobes, flames, and bursts of machine-gun fire from a National Guard helicopter.
When asked why the police were so slow to mobilize against the thirty-foot ex, Police Commish Dirk Dubblegum told Gorko reporters to go and have intercourse with themselves.
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