Three days ago local resident Gary C. found himself being crucified on his Twitter account after he spoke out strongly against Furbies. His insensitive comment went viral at 9:22 pm on Friday night, garnering more than 200k likes and generating a vicious lashback of comments. By midnight on the same day, Twitter influencers had declared Gary for all intents and purposes a dead man. Yet only three days later Gary was alive and having the time of his life waterskiing on Lake Tahoe with his family, truly a modern miracle!
‘Gary C. may be a kind of modern-day Jesus, capable of performing miracles and talking to God, and of course surviving three nights in a Twitter grave,’ said Dr. Judy Lawslacerby, one of Peoria’s leading experts on social media discourse.
Other experts have pointed out that Gary was not actually literally dead, and that the stretch of time from Friday to Sunday was not in fact a literal three-day period.
‘Gary had to shut down his account, it is true, and received several death threats as a result of his unfortunate Furbies comment,’ Steve McCall of Peoria Communications Ink told The Gorko, ‘but we see public personalities come recover from setbacks even more devastating than Gary’s.’
Gary will have to keep walking on water if he expects to win back the 356 followers he lost this weekend, but he has certainly made a good start.