The Chinese New Year on January 22nd kicks off lunar 2023 with the Year of the Water Rabbi. The Water Rabbi represents luck and patience, but patients of adult circumcision beware!

The Year of the Rabbi will bring LATKE good luck, especially for those good around a pot o’ sumfin sumfin. Gamblers and bank robbers should experience tremendous good favor from heaven this year, as well as those trying to have children (MOTZAH children).

Your lucky number in the Year of the Water Rabbi shall be 7, your lucky day Shabbat, lucky color black, and hairstyle extremely classic. Allow the Cosmos that is Yahweh punish your enemies, rather than you yourself, small rabbi, intervening. This is the way of the Water Rabbi.

If required to swear during the Year of the Rabbi, especially at Don Markenbaldi in front of his suburban duplez, watering the lawn in sandals and socks with a book in one hand, it is recommended by many rabbinic teachers that you shout only SUFGANIYOT!

Hunker down, twitchety itchety rabbi wabbi, for it looks like 2023 also lasts 13 complete lunar months. It would be wise to conserve your energy, yet to make many baby rabbis.

Image create don neural.love with cue: rabbi just the rabbis face (painting)