The Gorko Gazette

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thegorkogazette

1.5.2023 7:00 AM

WE TESTED THESE 3 NASA SPACE BEVERAGES WITH A SPLASH OF VODKA AND BLASTOFF

Researchers at the Gorko Aeronautics and Space Administration (GASA) have released their latest quarterly report on NASA space beverages. NASA, for those of you out of the know, is the OTHER aeronautics and space administration. GASA scientists say they have finally answered the age-old question, How good are NASA space drinks with just a little splash of vodka?

TANG + VODKA (**** OUT OF 5)

GASA researchers report that a fifth of vodka is the perfect way to spruce up an otherwise ordinary vitamin-C-packed vacuum-sealed container of orange flavor crystals. Simply insert the vodka through the tin foil lid of the Orange Drink powder using a syringe, shake to combine, and suck up the tasty drink with a straw!

AS10 ANTIOXIDANT DRINK + VODKA (*** OUT OF 5)

The AS10, which is a zesty blend of more than fifty superfruits from the Brazilian city of Sao Paolo, combines less favorably with vodka than its cheap, powdered, oversweetened American cousin Tang, but that does not mean you should pour your AS10 down the drain! Not by a good stretch. GAGA scientists claim that after downing three hearty packages of Tang with vodka the AS10 with vodka serves as a perfectly pleasant chaser in zero gravity.

FLAT COKE + VODKA (BLASTOFF!!!!!!!!!!!! ***** OUT OF 5)

Due to obvious problems with carbonated drinks and antigravity, carbonated Coca-Cola rarely makes the trip to outer space. One clever astronaut, Dr. Jevill H. Reeves, however, found the solution, and it was flat or uncarbonated warm coke. ‘This is the orbital drink of the future,’ slurred an extremely content Jevill while twirling and slurping, slurping and twirling, before signing off for the ‘night’.

Foto de Dannie Sorum en Unsplash