WHY DO THE SLAVES ALWAYS LOOK SO WORRIED? OPINION BY PUNKIN

Life is pretty swell, to tell you the truth. The slaves adore me frequently and bring me both wet and dry cat food when I blink at them, but it amuses me the way they always act so worried. What is it exactly that they are so anxious about? Below are 3 of my best guesses.

THE CAN OPENER

The slaves may be worried about misplacing the can opener, or that the can opener will stop working. If that happened, how would they get me my wet food? They would have to be sacrificed.

DOGS

Perhaps the slaves are thinking, Geesh, what if some dogs got into the house? Punkin would have to take shelter behind the couch, or on top of the fridge! She would sacrifice us for sure!

MY DAINTY BUTTHOLE

The slaves may be thinking those other things, but my best guess is that what they are really worried sick by, the thing that is really driving me crazy, is the fear that I may not be able to keep my butthole in nice, tidy shape with my adorable little tongue. If I fail to keep my anus nice for them they would most likely be forced to strip off their official furjamas and throw themselves like skinned cats from the top of the house.

Photo by Arnaud_Martinez on istockphoto.com

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