So we are looking particularly short and stout this morning, Harv, we have been informed in no uncertain terms. What could be the cause of this remarkable, unprecedented situation? Here are our thoughts on the beard vs. coveralls conversation.
WILBUR: Momma says I gots to wear pants and a shirt because I am a short boy and coveralls make me look fat and I listen to Momma.
HARVEY: Chuck me under the chin and call me a midnight munchkin, if that lady did not have the foulest mouth on her I have ever heard.
PIQUIN: Ándale güey, soy mexicano, no nos preocupam pa esas tonterías.
WILBUR: But beards is part of the uniform. Sergant Falang Monroe would be all over our asses if he caught us without the beard, and Momma says not to make Sarge angry, she needs flour for her biscuits.
HARVEY: Yeah Wil, but maybe the beards is the very thing what’s making us look fat. I might have to start looking for a new job if we can’t figure this out.
ABOVE, ALSO IN PEORIA: SHAVING OFF THE BEARDS DOES NOT EXACTLY APPEAR TO BE THE ANSWER.
Images rendered on Stable Diffusion