WHY DID YOU BUY A HOUSE OF GLASS

HOPE YOU GOT A RELIABLE SQUEEGEE

Let’s not sugarcoat this thing, hon: you could have bought any house in the county with your line of credit and incredible hot new position with Kine Flossum Inc., but you got sold a bill of goods, a house that not only drips in a moderate thundershower and is incredibly hot, and creepy after dark, and a bird killer, but is literally made out of glass so that everyone in the neighborhood knows exactly what you are doing at all times.

WELL THANK GOD THE BATHROOM IS IN THE BASEMENT

Except it isn’t, it is upstairs and also made out of glass so that the neighbors now know essentially everything about all of your movements.

IT IS GOOD FOR STARGAZING

Yes, your house of glass has that going for it. It is great for looking at the stars through the glass ceiling when it is not overcast in Peoria. If it were actually so romantic, though, why do they always take one look, then begin backing towards their vehicles before you can even get your hand inside a bra?

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

Uh nope. I would rather live at Bag End in Westfarthing and risk intrusion by dwarves and wizards than live in a house of glass in Peoria. And, not to mix high fantasy world building, but WINTER. IS. COMING. My advice? Invest in some curtains and throw rugs and maybe some straw for the roof.

Image generated on Stable Diffusion

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