WHA WHERE AM I
One of the main stipulations of your plea bargain with the State of Illinois this past, very unfortunate summer, was that you agreed to choose a Prototype X12-4000 Love-Me Bot to help you maintain healthy levels of social symbiosis both at home and at your government-mandated place of labor. But be not afraid, frail laboratory human, we have three amazing state-of-the-art Love-Me Bot models for you to choose from.
SKINNER X12-4000
The SKINNER X12-4000 was originally developed as a childcare alternative for single parents struggling with physiological insecurity, love and belonging projection, and fluctuating self-esteem. The SKINNER X12-4000 is programmed to step in and take aggressive action when you, the laboratory human, simply cannot. Converted to Love-Me Bot status in 2019, our SKINNER fleet is ready to bring you aggressive love, even when you are not sure you can even make eye contact.
SAINT VALENTINE X12-4000
The SAINT VALENTINE X12-4000 is in fact our deluxe package Love-Me Bot, offering you a full range of emotive and kinetic capabilities. Do you need to just fight it out, and then some rowdy make-up love? Or are you content to just fritter away your laboratory human life making small-talk and holding hands (two different synthetic opposable-thumb hand models included)? SAINT VALENTINE might just be the perfect Love-Bot for your home, daily commute, and day at the cubicle.
E-WALK X12-4000
One of our most popular models off the shelf is the deceptively teddy bear-like E-WALK X12-4000, a Love-Me Bot that also pukes, pees, and shits! Many laboratory humans enjoy dressing E-WALK in diapers, taking E-WALK around the neighborhood in strollers, and just talking baby-talk with E-WALK all day long! DISCLAIMER: Digits, tongues, and other human appendages should remain completely outside the mouth of the E-WALK X12-4000 at all times.
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