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by thegorkogazette

TIM IS SHORT! GORKO INTERPLANETARY ACOUSTICIANS STRUGGLE TO DECODE MYSTERIOUS SOS FROM ZORGON 12

TIM IS SHORT! SOS! TIM IS SHORT!

JUST A FEW HOURS AGO THIS ALARMING SOS WAS RECEIVED FROM THE USS ENTERBROS, OUR OWN STARBRO 3-CLASS HEAVY CARRIER LAST KNOWN ORBITING ZORGON 12 IN THE ZORGON PLASMA FIELDS. IN THE HOURS AND MINUTES SINCE, INTERPLANETARY SCIENTISTS HAVE BEEN RACING AGAINST TIM TO DECODE THE MESSAGE AND DEPLOY AN APPROPRIATE RESPONSE TEAM.

WHO IS TIM

Possibly a reference to 6 foot 5 inch tall Starbro Fleet Commander Timothy Plankt, although experts are dubious. ‘Unless Commander Tim was at a [highly illegal, courtmartialable] game of intergalactic poker with a member of the Zorgon High Command, ran into a bad streak of luck, and after gambling everything away including his ship and men, found himself short,’ explained one expert, an aide at Starbro Fleet General HQ.

‘In that case,’ said the expert, ‘Tim would indeed be sorrowfully short, and there is no way his SOS message could be of any help to him, his men, or even guarantee in any way the further existence of human life on the Planet Earth.’

DO NOT GAMBLE WITH ZORGON HIGH COMMAND

‘The strange thing about the message,’ explained Dr. Judy Girl, taking tim for just a few words between gulps of coffee and replacing her headset, ‘is that after it calls for a Starbro 3 Light Rescue vessel, it mentions the crucial Zorgon Flame Gap, a phenomenon in which — for only a very short tim, 2 minutes every 28 days, to be precise — the outer core of Zorgon 12 disengages, allowing starships to enter or exit the Zorgon atmosphere.’

Eyes to the stars, we shall continue to pray that the scientists are able to decode the mystery SOS of Tiny Tim, and sail to his recue in tim!

BELOW: IMAGE OF THE ZORGON FLAME GAP PHENOMENON

Images generated on Craiyon

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