GORKO’S GAMES FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Do you want to make this year’s holiday soiree the talk of the town? Wash away the rancid taste of last year’s failed Reindeer Jamboree For Old & Young, wink wink? Well maybe what you need to give your bash that extra little edge might just be THE GORKO’S PARLOR GAMES FOR THE HOLIDAYS. Below are three new games that are guaranteed to get people talking about what is going on at your place in Peoria, and we mean REALLY talking.
Bloody Death Jungle Hide and Seek (a Father MacPherson, M.Div. Game)
This is a high-stakes variation of the classic children’s game Hide and Seek in which a group of kids hide themselves in a safe space such as a room or a yard and one seeker attempts to locate as many of them as possible after counting to one hundred. (Those are all the rules.) Bloody Death Jungle Hide and Seek is based on the same concept, the difference being that the space where the players hide is a dangerous dark bloody jungle full of spiked pits, swinging axes, poisonous snakes, killer jungle cats, and stealthy cannibals. Also Father MacPherson is out there with his 12 gauge, hunting you, and you know how he sometimes peeks while he is counting! The object of the game is to survive longer than the other players.
Revival Tent Preacher
The goal of the game is to get as many Honest Joes and/or Honest Janes into your tent as possible. Collect special abilities like Chastity, Turning The Other Cheek, Charisma, Speaking In Tongues, Laying On Of Hands, Exe’Jesus’, and other hermeneutical powers! Create new events and take turns standing on the Soap Box. Use money for good — to lure young adults and children to your workshops. Scare the gays straight! Make money hand over fist and add special wings to your Revival Tent. Just make sure to watch out for Devil’s snares like Hatefulness, Barebacking, and Stuffing Mouth With Sweets.
Lucha Libre Chess™
Lucha Libre Chess™ is a game of chess played on a giant board in which the pieces are players dressed as their favorite freestyle wrestling characters. Each team has two rooks, two bishops, two knights, one king, one queen, and eight pawns, all of which move as in ordinary chess. A side wins when the other team’s queen is captured – literally stunned or knocked unconscious. The rules may change at any time and players may betray their own queen or ‘luchamates’ if they like.
Image generated on Magic Studio
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