Upcoming Movie: Hawktua Girl

Are you ready for the summer of hawktua, ladies and gremlins? If not then you had better clear the phlegm from your throats, and get ready for the ride of your lives, because the much-beloved crimefighting superhero Hawktua Girl will finally get her adaptation to the silver screen thanks to Warshington Studios and 225 billion dollars.

Also the first feature from the Warshington Universe, the eagerly anticipated film has not as its titular lead Superboy or Green Flashlight, but the winged superhero Hawktua Girl, who can fly, fight crime with a special knife and psycho-reactive aquiline face ram, and of course hawktua all over the place. The winged heroine will be played by Shiera Sanders Hall of Pecuniary Lane fame, after the role was reportedly turned down by the estate of Bette Davis.

‘DR [Digitally Resurrected] Bette Davis did not, and shall never participate in hawktua, or represent a character participating in such activity,’ a member of the estate told The Gorko via gold-trimmed telephone, claiming in her mid-atlantic accent that such behaviour had not even been known in Bette Davis’ day.

The family member, Mrs. Geraldine Parvis, asked for her identity to be kept confidential.

No feathers off Shiera Sanders Hall’s highflying wings! The soaring crimefighter is rumored to be facing off in this year’s headlining blockbuster against her nemesis Doctor Faka, and to the delight of Hawktua Girl aficionados, the film is to be set partially in Hawktua Girl’s home planet of Thanagar.

Filming took place primarily in Ontario and London, so we know what Thanagar probably is going to look like, but go nerds.

Hawktua Girl premiers this August 15th in theaters everywhere.

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Photo by muhammed [paqer on Unsplash

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