It is a (thankfully) short film that follows the escapades of rugged, outcast hero – Swarth Drfenlorng, played by Alistair Ront of Twelve Days as a Sexually Frustrated Werewolf fame
Category: Reviews
MITCH’S MOVIE MASH: WHO ARE THESE OSCAR FELLOWS
The words of Ampersat Lemon Reilly were blurry and the room where I was taking my bath (the master bath) began to spin.
INVASION OF THE ELEPHANT DOG CREATURES FROM SRIXON 5: A MITCHELL KENNEDY ORIGINAL
Read all about the seventh and eighth hypothetical installments of the planned intergalactic bow-wow series below.
MITCH’S MOVIE MASH: ‘WINNIE-THE-POOH: BLOOD AND HONEY 2’ – HONEY IS THICKER THAN BLOOD
Once we clicked PLAY on our Betamax antique home entertainment movie recorder, the hunt for honey was on!
PUGS ON RUGS: SIDEWINKLE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Mitchell Kennedy has been hard at work in our shared bathroom on a series of YA science fiction novels called Pugs On Rugs. Yes, Mitchell LOVES dogs.
3 SEXY DISTRESS FLARES FOR THAT ARCTIC VACATION THAT WILL DRIVE YOUR RESCUE CHOPPER PILOT WILD
Here are 3 of the internet’s sexiest distress signals, all personally tested by Gorko reporters in the Gorko Arctic Laboratory outside of Peoria!
THE GORKO BEST OF 2023
It is January 27th of the new year, 2023. Do you know where Elvis is?
‘BUMBLE STUMBLE’ by Mark Blickley
Each rejection stoked my insecurity and I eventually stopped sending out requests to avoid being crushed. But BUMBLE is a different kind of dating app.
MITCH’S MOVIE MASH: Finally another film about Nazis
No movie producer wants to live with the chance of an active Nazi Sonderkommando someday hunting him and his family down in their Malibu summer cottage. Achtung!
BEST ENTREES FOR JUST PICKING AT DURING THAT BIG BREAKUP
But what to order to pair with this big breakup, something not too sweet, not too savory, substantial enough to weather a good bitch-out, but that will not congeal in its own grease if you are forced to linger over words or even (God forbid) tears?
PUGS ON RUGS: SIDEWINKLE HEAD OVER HEELS
He falls head over heels in love with Grins Maher, a Peoria Dog Show starlet whose bite is just as sassy as her bark!
Book review by Hugh Blanton: ‘All My Mama Drama’
Over decades of rapid progress, America has made itself a world leader in comfort and satiety.
THE CIGAR SHOP HIPSTER WHO IS KEEPING ALL OF YOUR SNIPPED ENDS
He sleeps with them under his pillow.
LOVE DOGS ON THE FROZEN PLANET: A MITCHELL KENNEDY ORIGINAL
Ruby and Trotsky run into the bleak landscape, only to tumble into an ice crevice, stumbling directly onto the ancient lost cult of Ice Dogs!
SNIPPING THEIR HEDGES JUST A LITTLE TOO CLOSE? 3 BEST PRACTICES FROM MISTER CHATBOT
HAVE A SNAPPY NEW DAY!
MITCH’S MOVIE MASH: ROM-COM OF THE SUMMER ‘MEG 2’ HAS REAL TEETH
This crisply directed yet grainy-looking princess-and-pauperess modern fairy tale contains all the elements necessary to sweep a new generation of moviegoers off their feet.
MIND YOUR P’S AND Q’S WITH THIS HANDY LITTLE GRAMMAR SPRAY
GORKO’S OWN LABORATORY TESTED, CONSUMER APPROVED HANDY LITTLE GRAMMAR SPRAY
HELLO, MR. CHATBOT! MR. CHATBOT DOES FANNY PACK JOKES
MR. CHATBOT IN SEVERAL SHORT MONTHS YOU HAVE ALREADY DEVELOPED AN ACERBIC, GENUINELY HUMAN SENSE OF HUMOR
VIOLENT MOBILE GAME ‘PARROTPUNCH’ CRITICIZED AFTER MARKED INCREASE IN BIRD ATTACKS
For an additional 99 cents, users can add a ‘boil or fry’ option to the game, where they can cook the body of the bird they’ve punched.
FREEDOM OR DEATH: YES THIS IS THE CHOICE VALIANT PEOPLE OF THE AMERICA BY MR. CHATBOT
But freedom is not just about individual happiness. It is also about the well-being of society as a whole.
MITCH’S LET’S JUMP THE GUN! TOP TEN MOVIES OF 2023 IN JULY
Gorko Entertainment Editor Mitchell Kennedy sticks a fork in those months of moviegoing madness with his annual LET’S JUMP THE GUN – Mitch’s top movie picks of the year, only halfway through the year!
TRY TO DRAW THIS, I DARE YOU: A PEAR
Here is the marker, what are you waiting for?
THE MAGIC COMES HOME: DISNEY’S LUXURY HIGH-RISE OFFERS AFFORDABLE HOUSING FOR THE MOUSE-LOYAL
‘We want our tenants to truly have the spirit of the brand in their hearts. That’s much more important to building our unique MCKY community.’
Book review by Hugh Blanton: ‘Jersey Jerks’
None other than Bruce Springsteen himself says this memoir is ‘Truly the voice of the Jersey Shore.’
Excerpt: ‘Toby’s Heart, It Beats For One’ by Uncle Toby
A girl he loves, his precious sun
Her eyes like petals, soft and bright
MR. CHATBOT AT THE MOVIES: DIE HARD
Really? Then why are you pointing a human gun at me?
TRY TO DRAW THIS, I DARE YOU: A THUMB
Must have taken a dozen ganders at it and nope.
TRY TO DRAW THIS, I DARE YOU: TWO MOONS
Go ahead, I dare you.
HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY GORKO!
To celebrate our second birthday here is a look back at a few of our favorite pieces from ’22-23…
MITCH’S MOVIE MASH: 3 MISTAKES YOU’RE PROBABLY MAKING WHILE WATCHING ‘MAID IN MANHATTAN’
While rewatching the FABULOUS Wayne Wang (tee hee hee) 2002 blockbuster rom-com Maid in Manhattan starring J-Lo (if I may, Jennifer) and Ralph (Ralph does not pronounce the L in his name) Fiennes, between household […]
Book Excerpt: ‘Spring Snow Under The Cherry Blossom Tree Of The Sepulchred Mirror Hallway Geisha’ by HARUKI ISHIGAWA MITCHELL
‘Haruki Ishigawa Mitchell’ has been trying his hand at imitating the Kafkaesque Japanese authors Haruki Murakami, Sayaka Murata, and Kotaro Ishigawa.
TITILLATING: BOGUS CAPTAIN B INTERVIEW LEAKED TO GORKO BY A MAN NAMED MITCHELL
GORKO ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR AND SUBLEASER MITCHELL KENNEDY, APPARENTLY UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT GORKO POET LAUREATE AND ALL-AROUND BADASS CAPTAIN B IS AN ACTUAL PERSON, HAS DISCREETLY LEAKED US AN ‘EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW’ WITH THAT FICTIONAL POET, […]