The woman, who would identify herself only as Barbara, had been on a bicycle tour of the United States when she dropped her iPhone into the drink while crossing Peoria Lake on highway 150.
After the tragic event she purchased a paper map from a local 7-11 but must have been holding the dern thing like THIS.
Barbara claims to have visited many cities including New Orleans and Wicheta in her attempt to find her way back to Tennessee, where she had been staying with a host family she referred to only as ‘The Handerson’. When this reporter offered to call The Handerson, the offer was politely declined on the grounds that ‘The Handerson do not use telephones. Now I am just like them tee hee, tee hee!’
Peoria Police were informed of the damsel in distress and their offers of help were also turned down. Barbara is a legal visitor in our great land of plenty of land, and she cycled off into the sunset, heading due west.
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Cartoons by Laurie Rosenwald
Cover image generated on Magic Studio
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