Important Holiday Season Reminders from the Only Full-Blooded Jew in the Family

Do not touch the dreidel while it is spinning, nor attempt to hex the dreidel in any other manner.

If the dreidel falls off the table before coming to rest, it must be re-spun.

If the dreidel falls off the table twice before coming to rest, the spinner loses their turn.

I will announce this loss of turn by shouting: ‘Disqualification!’

The dreidel, while it spins, may brush against other objects on the table, but it may not crash into them.

If the dreidel is determined to have crashed into one or more other objects on the table, the spinner loses their turn.

(Again, I will announce this by shouting: ‘Disqualification!’)

If there is a dispute about whether the dreidel has brushed against versus crashed into another object on the table, I will have the final say-so.

Speaking of say-so, the game will end only when I say so. My dreidel, my rules.

About the artist

Eli S. Evans tries his best to plant as many of his absurdist fictions and other assorted endeavors as possible on the internet. Two books of small stories, Obscure & Irregular and Various Stories About Specific Individuals in Particular Situations, have been published by Moon Rabbit Books & Ephemera.