I Think My Girlfriend May Occasionally Be Possessed by the Ghost of Pop Singer Michael Jackson
And I’m okay with that because I love her very much, but I truly think she’d prefer as much as I would if it were no longer the case. She doesn’t believe me and won’t go to the doctor because her insurance doesn’t cover it and what would they do anyways, but I’ve seen enough to recognize it as a serious problem. Not to our relationship, not like that, because we’re rock solid and I love her even if she’s occasionally possessed by the King of Pop, but more so for her sleep schedule and mental health. It really seems to be a major disruption to her circadian rhythm, even if she doesn’t realize it.
See, she gets these migraines, these aura migraines that send her straight to bed for whole afternoons or weekends, and that’s when MJ takes advantage of her weakened state to do his dances and songs and stuff around our apartment. The cat doesn’t like it, I can tell you that much. I think the “Hee Hee”s must sound like a predator to our little tabby, or maybe she just doesn’t like to see her momma jitter around like a puppet on strings, I don’t know, but it freaks her right the freak out, like those videos you see where cats get scared by cucumbers and things like that, like evolutionary.
When I tell my girlfriend about it, she says that’s crazy because she remembers just laying in bed all afternoon and she doesn’t even know how to moonwalk so how could she have done that in the kitchen scaring the cat, and I say exactly.
I think it’s upsetting her circadian rhythm because Michael Jackson comes when she’s sleeping too, just like when she’s down for the count with a killer migraine. The other night I woke up and it must’ve been one or two in the morning and she wasn’t next to me, so I sat up and looked around the room and she was frozen in the corner in that Michael Jackson pose, the one where his knee is bent and his fingertips hold the brim of his hat, her invisible hat. You can probably guess how freaked out I was, my girlfriend there in the corner of our dark bedroom in the middle of the night like that. It’s scary when someone familiar becomes strange to you. So I tried to talk to her and say come back to bed and you’re going to mess up your circadian rhythm, but all she said was “Hee Hee” and then she did it, she moonwalked from one side of the room to the other around the foot of the bed just a few inches from my feet, and then stopped and struck that pose again, on my side of the bed now.
I swallowed and I said, Michael, let’s talk about this. You gotta leave my girlfriend alone.
And this is where things get really freaky, because when she answered she didn’t sound like her, she sounded pretty close to Michael Jackson. Not exactly, because she was still just working with her usual vocal cords and that sorta thing, but it was really close.
And she, or maybe Michael, said that maybe we could strike a deal, that if I let him possess my girlfriend every now and then, he’ll write us one huge pop song every year so that we’ll be millionaires and set for life. He just needs to use my girlfriend’s body sometimes to do Earth things that he can’t do elsewhere like dance and sing.
And I said no sirree, not my girlfriend’s body, not without her being okay with it at least and she still doesn’t even believe it’s happening. I said you gotta ask before using somebody’s body, and not me but her is who you have to ask. Until then GTFO, Michael.
Michael said, think about it pal.
And then she broke her perfect pose and yawned and got back into bed like she just came back from a late night pee and nothing’d even happened.
Has anyone dealt with a situation like this before? I tried getting videos but she just thinks it’s AI and gets mad at me for giving her picture to ChatGPT (which I didn’t do, it’s real video). If your partner’s been possessed by a dead pop star, please please let me know how you made it stop or at least proved it was happening. I love my girlfriend very much and don’t want her to be Michael Jackson sometimes unless that’s something she wants for her life, which would be a surprise but I’d get used to it because I love her so much. Thanks!!
About the author
Nick Porisch writes and sometimes does other stuff in Minneapolis. You can follow him on Instagram (@porisch.writes) for more.
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