The Gorko Gazette

Daily Humor

thegorkogazette

10.7.2026 7:00 AM

I went to the state of limerence and all I got was this lousy shirt by Andrea Salvador

I went to the state of limerence and all I got was this lousy shirt

Slice of baked pie + inside joke + borrowed book = you think he’s going to ask you on a date,
don’t you? Manifesting on the tarot side of TikTok that it’s going to be a beach stroll/movie
date/axe throw evening. Enough. It’s 1:27 AM, put the phone down. But it warbles, ‘Let there
be light.’ He’s replied! Cue the midnight banter where you ooze buckets of #coolgirl aura &
NO NEVER MIND HE’S STOPPED REPLYING. What can you do now quiz: a) text every
friend who would conceivably be awake b) torture your journal with question marks c) sleep.
Not c) because the brain’s headlining: DON’T MISS OUT – 20% chance of a response tonight!
You’ve promised yourself some dignity a.k.a. no double texting so you go watch YouTube.
Choose your own adventure ads flash: 1 of 2 – He stops replying & you never talk again
(This is unskippable, unfortunately) 2 of 2 – He just got carried away with his essay & his next
text will be a request for pre-class coffee, flash forward to introducing him to your family over
brunch (This is sponsored by well-meaning, idealistic friends) Sleep continues to evade // blue
light keeps you awake. A couplet, a couple – the two of you could be. Today’s screen time clocks
at: 45 min – scrubbing the chat page like a detective, careful to not like/unlike anything, 1 hr –
rejigging the Instagram reels algorithm which caught Tiktok’s tarot contagion, 13 min – Reddit.
r/Crushes: Is he into me? Answer from MysticOracle5: If he is, you’ll know. You won’t be here.
Here or here, where the sun is dawning and the chat page still taunts you with your final text on
read. Blinking won’t summon his reply, but it does magic a lousy shirt onto your bed. It says: we
value your feedback! How was your experience this evening? Terrible 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Great