REVIEWS

6 Mistakes You’re Making When You Watch ‘Star Trek III: The Search For Spock’

Tweet1) You are not letting the actors speak their lines Even if you know every word of the script by heart, many people don’t realize that by speaking over the actors they are cheating themselves and others of the work of an incredibly accomplished group of artists whose art is more important than you impressing […]

Upcoming Movie: ‘Potato’

TweetFestival press has been quick to condemn Ruben Andreyev’s ambitious 3-hour single-take film of a potato, Potato, for being slow, melodramatic, and starchy beyond limits even contemplated by the director of The Turin Horse. But critics’ main beef has been with the medium. ‘Why in this digital age, when you can obtain better results from […]

Mitch’s Movie Mash: ‘Jurassic World War’ takes a pass on premillennialist escatology

TweetIf you have read the book Jurassic World War you will know that in the last chapter the entire conflict between dinosaurs and man is essentially rendered irrelevant by the second coming of Christ, the booger. The near-fatal curiosity of the human race in its life-and-death struggle with the swift and predatory nature of the […]

BOOK EXCERPT: ‘PRINCESS LEATHERHELM’ BY MITCHELL DARKWING

TweetCHAPTER I “Princess Leatherhelm!” cried the gnome Jerrod, and he held out a small parcel wrapped in rough brown paper tied with a string. “Gnome Jerrod,” smiled the Princess, halting her steed Megalus with a thrust of her flashing stirrups. “I shall under no circumstances accept gifts from you. Nay, for you must save your […]

Mitch’s Movie Mash: Far From the Madd(en)ing Critics

TweetAbout halfway through this summer’s astonishing Far From the Madding (sic) Crowd, the director’s cut prequel to Disney’s Babe, Tom Hardy stands up, dusts off his overall pants and declares, ‘Frankly, my dear, you are an exaggeration!’ and my one thought was that Tom (if I may call you Tom) has finally been able to […]

Upcoming Movie: ‘Titanic Disaster’

TweetTitanic Disaster is a true-to-life literal minute-by-minute retelling of the epic tragedy of the RMS Titanic, the 1912 cruise liner that sank in the North Atlantic after striking an iceberg, an event that resulted in more than 1,500 deaths. Director Prisha Patel told The Gorko that she wanted to give viewers something completely different and […]

Upcoming Movie: ‘The Fog of Dr. Parchisi’

TweetThe latest entry in the Dr. Parchisi canon, and we recommend this one. The good Doctor Parchisi, played again by the artist known as Tom, yes, with his authentically fiendish moustachios and strong scent of something between port wine and pistachios, finds himself unable to control his sudden urges for the damsel in the neighboring […]

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