From its colossal titanium core to its needle-sharp prow and retractable solar sails, the flying Pyrámide del pántano unearthed this past spring outside of Mérida, Yucatan (from under a heap of expats) has exceeded the expectations of even its first champion, the archaeologist and sometime crime sleuth Dr. Bart Marker.
‘We knew from cave paintings and a triangulation of the surrounding mountain peaks, and local legend, of the flying pyramid’s approximate location,’ the doughty explorer and one-time Olympic track star told reporters from the pyramid’s cockpit. ‘What surprised us was that this lady was using the nose of the ship for one end of her clothesline.’
She was about to have her socks blown off.
Though theories abound as to how big the flying pyramid actually is, with calculations ranging from several hundred yards in diameter to almost a thousand miles, Dr. Marker assured The Gorko that the upper crust of the planet could probably withstand the heat and pressure of the impending takeoff long enough for himself to gain orbit.
‘I’m sure it will be A-okay,’ he quipped as he powered up the main thrusters and snapped down his visor.