Addressing a crowd of several thousand gathered in St. Peter’s Square this Wednesday, Pope Francis urged listeners to make better choices about healthcare, lamented living conditions in several poor Italian neighborhoods, condemned abortion, called on young people to bear testimony of salvation, and made a veiled reference to that thing that was, you know, supposed to stay in Las Vegas.
‘No idea how the Holy Father found out about that thing, you know,’ one Peoria Catholic told Gorko reporters as he signed for the lo mein and sweet ‘n’ sour duck. ‘Maybe His Holiness just never heard the phrase, what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas. Well now it’s out there, and everyone more or less knows.’
What WAS that thing that happened in Las Vegas?
‘That stays in Las Vegas,’ replied the man.
Going back through the footage of the Pope’s speech, really picking it apart, Gorko reporters concluded that that thing most likely has something to do with fraternity, community, or inclusivity.