Hello friends. My name is Lemon Reilly, your Life Doctor. I am a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Homeopath with freshly smelling, non-creepy offices in Peoria. I offer safe healing alternatives that complement my physical remedies, guiding seekers with special techniques to help them achieve peace, joy, and life fulfillment.
Ruby Bob the Rapper writes:
Hello Lemon my partner Jalopy Josh and I have noticed that you come down pretty hard on ‘capitalism’ and western greed in general, well donchu think we all got a right, stan up and fight, make me a dolla, just be workin at Carl’s Junia?
Lemon replies: Indeed Ruby Bob, we all have a right to make a decent living in order to buy Jalopy Josh nice things for the holidays. But all things in good measure, friend. Ask yourself how many Victorian chimney sweepers it is worth for Jalopy to enjoy his new kicks, and you may discover that the answer is no number of kicks is worth the enslavement of children for capitalist overlords.
Charlie Shean writes from his Malibu mansion:
Please stop calling my residence, you pestering fanboy bullsh$#er. This has gotten out of control, Lemon Reilly. What do you want from me? What do I have to do, sign a hundred photos? If it is money you want please tell me, anything for some peace of mind. Take what you want then LEAVE. ME. ALONE.
As a certified life doctor with a booming business in Peoria, Charlie ‘Shean’, I do not need your lucre OR approval. A stack of signed photographs will do nicely.
Matilda from Methaballoo writes:
I have been having strange dreams about Charlie Shean in which Charlie and I are riding through the desert on his Kawasaki Ninja 1200 and Charlie says to me, ‘Matilda we are not in Methaballoo no more.’ What on earth could he mean?
I have been dreaming about Charlie ‘Shean’ a lot recently, too, and believe it has something to do with Pisces being ascendant in the notoriously misty Warb Nebula. It is helpful to remember that the Charlie you meet in your dreams is a Charlie from a parallel timeline and that the Charlie you know from Malibu is not responsible for the things the other Charlie says. Take two large spoonfuls of Lemongrass Sweetdream Coconut Tonic #4 before bed, and treat Charly (I call him Charly) nice when you see him. He may even be unaware that there are two Charlies in your life.
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