Poop reports on THE breaking news stories from around the globe with the help of her sassy sidekick Scoop.
Bear Decides Not to Shit in the Woods
The bear prefers empty picnic baskets. Feed the bear or else!
Raspberries Petition for Name Change
Raspberries petitioned the USDA to change their names from raspberries to dingleberries.
A spokesperson noted that raspberries were insulted about being confused with a fart. She attempted to explain to the raspberries that dingleberries is an equally insulting name, but the raspberries were too moronic to understand.
Dog Begs for Food on Street Corner
Pom-Pom, the Pomeranian, escaped from confinement again yesterday. Her owners found her 10 blocks away, begging for food at the corner of 4th and Main St. When she saw her owners running towards her, she thumbed a ride with a tow truck, and hasn’t been seen since.
Stone Skips Bail
Rocky the Stone skipped bail today with the help of Billy Junior.
When questioned by the police, Billy protested innocence, saying he just wanted to see how many times Rocky would skip off the circus of the lake before sinking.
Billy was taken into custody and will be charged with aiding and abetting a criminal.
Ear Gunk
Poop’s ears are magnetic gunk attractors, so Nolcha uses witch hazel-doused cotton balls to keep those ears spotless.
Unfortunately, Scoop developed a taste for witch hazel. She figured out how to fish through the wastepaper basket for crusty cotton balls. Nolcha discovered Scoop’s cotton ball stash buried in a blanket. Gross. Those cotton balls, instead of being covered with Poop’s ear gunk, were very clean. Double gross.
Nolcha declined an x-ray of Scoop’s stomach, which may be littered with cotton balls and dog poop.
ABOUT NOLCHA FOX
Nolcha’s poems have been published in Lothlorien Poetry Journal, Alien Buddha Zine, Medusa’s Kitchen, and others. Her three chapbooks are available on Amazon. Nominee for 2023 Best of The Net. Editor for Kiss My Poetry and for Open Arts Forum. Accidental interviewer.
Website: https://bit.ly/3bT9tYu
“My Father’s Ghost Hates Cats” https://amzn.to/3uEKAqa
“The Big Unda” https://amzn.to/3IxmJhY
“How to Get Me Up in the Morning” https://www.amazon.com/How-Get-Morning-Collaboration-Photography/dp/B0BF31V4T3/
Twitter: @NolchaF
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nolcha.fox/